View source for Homer's Odyssey/Book I

{{Dia|Narrator|Tell me, O [[Muses|muse]], of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of [[Troy]]. Many cities did he visit, and many were the [[Roman Empire|nations]] with whose manners and customs he was acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save his own life and bring his men safely home; but do what he might he could not save his men, for they perished through their own sheer folly in eating the [[cattle]] of the [[Sun]]-god [[Hyperion]]; so the god prevented them from ever reaching home. Tell me, too, about all these things, O daughter of [[Jove]], from whatsoever source you may know them.}}
{{Dia|Match|Me? Like, I haven't seen [[Homer Simpson|Homer]] come back to, like, [[Ithaca]] since... y'know, he, like, graduated from [[Cornell University|Cornell]].}}
{{Dia|Homer|How the fuck did I get here?}}
{{Dia|Calypso|Hey Homer!}}
{{Dia|Homer|God damn it Calypso, I wanna go back to Ithaca.}}
{{Dia|Calypso|It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do...}}
{{Dia|Homer|This is dumb-}}
{{Dia|Calypso|Hey baby, I think I wanna [[Wedding|marry you]]!}}
{{Dia|Homer|Is this seriously some fucking [[Bruno Mars]] karaoke? Cuz I'm not falling for this! I have a wife!}}
{{Dia|Calypso|Is it the look in your eyes?}}
{{Dia|Homer|Uhh-}}
{{Dia|Calypso|Or is it this dancing [[juice]]?}}
{{Dia|Homer|<nowiki>*</nowiki>slurping on [[apple juice]]<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
{{Dia|Calypso|Who cares, baby? I think I wanna-}}
{{Dia|Zeus|Calypso, let Homer go or I'll smite [[Atlantis]] again.}}
{{Dia|Homer|Oh thank goodness.}}
{{Dia|Match|OMG... Is that really, like, you, Homer? You're back in Ithaca after, like, so many years?}}
{{Dia|Neptune|Not on my watch. I'm not letting ol' Homer go this time. You see, I've come from [[Ethiopia]] to get a flock of [[sheep]] and a herd of [[cow]]s, but then ''something'' happened and now I'm here at the damn house of Olympian Jove.}}
{{Dia|Homer|Neptune? What's wrong? You sound depressed.}}
{{Dia|Neptune|People keep blaming ''us'' for nothing! Remember [[Aegisthus]]? He oughta date [[Agamemnon]]'s wife before killing Agamemnon... well, uh, that would be bad news for him. Whatever, I just happened to send [[Mercury]] to prevent such a catastrophe from ever happening. It's like how [[Orestes]] wants revenge when he grows up. Just straight up ignorant. Poor Mercury...}}
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