Homer's Odyssey/Book I
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Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Troy. Many cities did he visit, and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save his own life and bring his men safely home; but do what he might he could not save his men, for they perished through their own sheer folly in eating the cattle of the Sun-god Hyperion; so the god prevented them from ever reaching home. Tell me, too, about all these things, O daughter of Jove, from whatsoever source you may know them.
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How the fuck did I get here?
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Hey Homer!
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God damn it Calypso, I wanna go back to Ithaca.
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It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do...
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This is dumb-
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Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you!
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Is this seriously some fucking Bruno Mars karaoke? Cuz I'm not falling for this! I have a wife!
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Is it the look in your eyes?
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Uhh-
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Or is it this dancing juice?
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*slurping on apple juice*
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Who cares, baby? I think I wanna-
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Calypso, let Homer go or I'll smite Atlantis again.
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Oh thank goodness.
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OMG... Is that really, like, you, Homer? You're back in Ithaca after, like, so many years?
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Neptune? What's wrong? You sound depressed.
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People keep blaming us for nothing! Remember Aegisthus? He oughta date Agamemnon's wife before killing Agamemnon... well, uh, that would be bad news for him. Whatever, I just happened to send Mercury to prevent such a catastrophe from ever happening. It's like how Orestes wants revenge when he grows up. Just straight up ignorant. Poor Mercury...
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 | This article is a work in progress. ...Well, all the articles here are, in a way. But this one moreso, and the article may contain incomplete information and editor's notes. |